Where am I going? Where is my life heading? Am I doing things which I like? Am I getting my worth in this world? I know I am different than others.... I know I am better than others... I know I am not like my fellow beings.....
These are some of the questions and deliberations which I am sure each and everyone of us keep on thinking about... And I am sure I am not in the minority by thinking about these things... Because I am damn sure that most of us do think the same way... Why is it that we tend to think these things??? Are we inherently better than others or is it the Aham - Ego which makes us think like this... ??
When we start our lives, we do not care who we are... We do not care where we are born... We do not care what our caste is... We do not care which nationality we belong to... We are only concerned about three things.... Food, Sleep and Play. A one-year-old doesn't understand the nuances of caste, creed, nationality et al... It's only after he joins his school, after he starts to discern things that he tends to differentiate between people. So, can we say that our education brings with it a slow and steady infirmity to slowly decapacitate our nascent and pure mind..??
I think this is partly because of some basic flaws in our education system as well as some fundamental dogmas that dog our society...
I still remember vividly that during my 7th class public examination, we were supposed to fill a form which asked us about our caste... This was probably the first of the many instances which made caste seep deep down into my system.... Also, being from a orthodox Brahmin family, I have seen many of my older aunties and uncles try to inculcate these things not actively but through a passive way... I am sure everyone must have faced in their homes... I am not saying that all our elders are at fault by trying to showcase the differentiating factor about our caste but it is the inherent character which we have that makes these differences pour out intermittently...
I don't deny the fact that I too am a bit afflicted with this caste factor but somehow I now want to come out of it... Try to love people for what they are rather than what their ancestors were... But honestly, I am not sure where I am going right now... Sometimes, I feel that I am going to change this world but the very other instance I think that nothing is going to change... There is a perpetual contrast that dogs everyone's life, most of all mine... But I guess this is what everyone faces at the age of 25- The Quarter life crisis..... I guess all my fellow quarter lifers face this situation which is nothing but a journey to nowhere......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
