My Folly

Yesterday was one of those days when I realized my foolishness again… Yeah… again… There have been a lot of instances in recent times which uncovered the inklings of tardiness, boorishness and foolishness that I possessed. My prejudice about things kicked me on my face!!!!!!!!!!!


During my recent visit to IIM Bangalore on 23rd February, as I was awaiting my turn to get interviewed there were a couple of other fellow interviewees who were very much excited to tell me that Slumdog Millionaire won 8 Oscars. I downplayed it by saying that I was not wee bit impressed by the unnecessary and unwarranted hullabaloo about it winning the Oscars. I went to the extent of saying that it was a part of some clandestine shenanigans to usurp India’s new-found belief in herself and also the clout she has come to exhibit in recent past. I felt it was a ploy by the Westerners to malign India by depicting her underbelly and lull the foreign investment in India to sleep. When the fellow interviewees asked me if I saw the movie, I said that I didn’t see it and also did not intend to see it. I was convinced that this was not a movie to waste your time and resources on. This was accentuated by the fulsome criticism bestowed on it by some of the better known personalities of India. I became completely prejudiced and preposterous in my judgment. How wrong was I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday being a Friday, I was getting a bit bored and thought of watching a movie and guess what… I decided to watch Slumdog Millionaire. Movie started off nicely.. The narration was good… The intertwining of the past with the present was depicted pretty beautifully. There has been generous criticism for the scene depicting a shit-soaked kid running for Amitabh Bachchan’s autograph. I think that scene could have been avoided as I am sure no one even in the slums would like to soak oneself in that slimy-yellow-thing !!!! But, nevertheless, the circumstances leading to the scene were well justified and this actually set the tone for the movie. This showed that the kid could do anything to attain his dream. Hmm… Not bad until now.. I thought. Then started the adventure of ‘The Three Musketeers’ – Athos, Porthos and Aramis which was very well picturised and had liberal doses of emotion, humour and hope. If I were to look at the gist of the story, it was very much similar to that of the Man Booker Prize winning book – ‘The White Tiger’ by Aravind Adiga. Ofcourse, the only difference being that Jamal Malik in Slumdog was clean as a crystal whereas Balram Halwai of The White Tiger had some greyish shades. Overall, I was impressed by the way the film moved on and the message it sent across. It had a message for all of us, yes, all of us. It showed how India has broken the shackles and has surged ahead in this competitive world. It has portrayed the resilience and the spirit of the Indians. It definitely was awe-inspiring. I am sure that anyone who saw this movie would have had goose-bumps when Jamal – the Chaiwala becomes a Crorepati. I am sure it would have. I guess everyone likes it when the underdog wins it. Because I think all of us can empathize with the underdog and I am sure many of us feel ourselves to be an underdog. I am not an exception either.

So, what is the lesson that I learn from all this… ? What does this prove once again? Well, this again proves how easily I get influenced by others’ views and how I become judgmental about things without a proper analysis. Hmm… time to change things. Hopefully, education at IIM might help me do that. But I have to wait for this until the results come out in April. Till then… Fingers crossed.

Journey to Nowhere....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where am I going? Where is my life heading? Am I doing things which I like? Am I getting my worth in this world? I know I am different than others.... I know I am better than others... I know I am not like my fellow beings.....

These are some of the questions and deliberations which I am sure each and everyone of us keep on thinking about... And I am sure I am not in the minority by thinking about these things... Because I am damn sure that most of us do think the same way... Why is it that we tend to think these things??? Are we inherently better than others or is it the Aham - Ego which makes us think like this... ??

When we start our lives, we do not care who we are... We do not care where we are born... We do not care what our caste is... We do not care which nationality we belong to... We are only concerned about three things.... Food, Sleep and Play. A one-year-old doesn't understand the nuances of caste, creed, nationality et al... It's only after he joins his school, after he starts to discern things that he tends to differentiate between people. So, can we say that our education brings with it a slow and steady infirmity to slowly decapacitate our nascent and pure mind..??
I think this is partly because of some basic flaws in our education system as well as some fundamental dogmas that dog our society...

I still remember vividly that during my 7th class public examination, we were supposed to fill a form which asked us about our caste... This was probably the first of the many instances which made caste seep deep down into my system.... Also, being from a orthodox Brahmin family, I have seen many of my older aunties and uncles try to inculcate these things not actively but through a passive way... I am sure everyone must have faced in their homes... I am not saying that all our elders are at fault by trying to showcase the differentiating factor about our caste but it is the inherent character which we have that makes these differences pour out intermittently...

I don't deny the fact that I too am a bit afflicted with this caste factor but somehow I now want to come out of it... Try to love people for what they are rather than what their ancestors were... But honestly, I am not sure where I am going right now... Sometimes, I feel that I am going to change this world but the very other instance I think that nothing is going to change... There is a perpetual contrast that dogs everyone's life, most of all mine... But I guess this is what everyone faces at the age of 25- The Quarter life crisis..... I guess all my fellow quarter lifers face this situation which is nothing but a journey to nowhere......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

End of an era

      Today is one of the saddest days of my life. An era of supremacy,  An era of magnificence,  An era of dignified presence has come to an end. What a great time I had with her. I can’t really express the pain that I went through as I was separated from her. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I had a big lump in my throat. Felt as though I was stepping on a road full of crushed glass.. a road full of burning charcoal…

      I still remember the great days we had together. I remember vividly that it was July 16^th 2004 when I first met her, four days after joining Infy. It was a double bonanza for me. Not only did I have a job now but was also united with this little darling.  As one of my training batchmates in Infosys handed this little baby to me, I was thrilled to bits. I felt as though this was the beginning of a new life. She brought with her waves of happiness and tides of gaiety. I was very proud on that day and was showing her to each and every soul. I called up my parents from Bangalore to inform them about this new addition in my life. A bundle of joy I would say.

     I flaunted her day-in and day-out. I don’t deny that I had a sense of pride when she was near me. She would always be with me in the office. I took great care of her when I washed my face in the restroom. I was very particular about her safety. I took great pains to look after her. I think Sai and Vinay would know how I cared for her during my early days of Infy career. Even Gary, Bharat and KC know how I cherished her till yesterday.

    She was a very fair lady when she first came to me. But with time, age caught up with her and she became emaciated. But still I cherished her presence. Due to the pollution around, her colour slightly became pale yellow. But even then I was always happy in her presence. In fact, I felt proud as her colour outlined my experience in Infosys.

    One fateful day, I was asked to return my little devil as they wanted to replace her with someone new, someone fresh. It was one of the toughest decisions I took in my life. But association with Infy has taught me to inculcate values and I had to fall in line with the official diktat. I had to return her back to the authorities today and they gave me a completely new and fresh ID CARD.

    Here begins a new romance again…. J

Kumble and Me….!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Anil Kumble to Wasim Akram – Pakistan was 207 for the loss 9 wickets. Kumble bowls a leg break – Takes an inside edge of Akram’s bat and VVS Laxman picks up a good catch at Forward short leg.“

 

Kumble has had 619 dismissals to his credit in Test Cricket but this was very special not only to him but also to the millions of Indians.  This was the wicket which gave Kumble figures of 10 for 74 at Ferozeshah Kotla Ground, New Delhi in February 1999. Only once was such a feat achieved in Test cricket before.

 

I still remember that day vividly. I was playing cricket with my cousin and Pakistan was 100-odd for no loss. That was when Jumbocastled Afridi to pick up his first wicket of the innings. That was when I went inside to watch the fall of wicket. The very next ball Jumbopicked up Ijaz Ahmed as well and then started the procession. I forgot the match that I was playing and sat glued to the TV. And the rest, as they say, is history. It was a day to cherish for all of us.

 

But this day, was very special to me because this was the day that I changed my bowling action. Yes.. you read it right. Just to throw some light on my history, I have played cricket right from my school days and was a batsman. But as I couldn’t make it to my school team purely as a batsman I decided to become a leg-spinner and copied Shane Warne’s action. I was pretty much successful and continued with it from 1996 to 1999. But on this day, I decided to mould my action in tune with that of Kumble’s. And people who have played cricket with me know what I am capable of with this new zippy action.

 

Just a few minutes back, I was telling one of my friends that my life has many similarities to that of Akshay Kumar’s. This made me think about the similarities that I had even with Anil Kumble.

 

To start with, Kumble and I are both engineers. We both wear spectacles. We both bowl leg-spinners. And not to forget, both of us are intelligent. I might be sounding a bit too egotistic. But yeah, I think I am intelligent enough. Now, please don’t ask me the definition of an intelligent person..!!!!!! Coming back to our similarities, we are both tall. In fact, both of us are of the same height. A young Kumble and I are of the same build. Tall, lean and lanky. But the biggest difference between us is that Kumble dared to live his dream – to play for the country. This is where I fizzled out. I gave up cricket for the sake of my studies. Not many know that I was offered a contract for a local club in Hyderabad when I was in Intermediate 1^st year. But I spurned it to pursue my studies. Who knows, what would have happened had I accepted it… But that’s past and I don’t want to delve my past or dwell in it.

 

Kumble is one sportsman who gives us inspiration in many ways.  Concentration is his hallmark. So, is his dedication and aggression. I would say he has controlled aggression. Controlling his aggression and showing it in his bowling rather than showing it on stupid histrionics. Constantly improving oneself and striving for bigger goals is another attribute which we can imbibe.

 

Finally, I would like to end this tribute to Kumble by saluting this great hero of Indian cricket who has brought great fame to the country and also for being a Dronacharya to this nondescript Ekalavya who played most of his cricket in the by-lanes of Kachiguda and Barkatpura.

Kahaan gaye woh din….

It was a Friday night around 10:30 PM in the night. I was swapping channels as there was a commercial break on Saregamapa Challenge 2009. As I casually and drowsily flicked the remote in my hand, something interesting caught my eye. Amitabh Bachchan was being interviewed by Abhishek Bachchan. It was basically a chat show to promote their ‘Unforgettables’ tour. I got interested in it because my dear Akki too was part of this tour. I was waiting with bated breath to hear about Akki from Big B. But there was something which Amitabh said that made my mind go nostalgic. It made me forget about Akki, Saregamapa….

 Amitabh said that he was surprised to see lots of youngsters still able to recollect dialogues from famous Amitabh movies of yore. He said that although most of the youngsters were not even born but still they knew a lot of dialogues from his famous movies. Hmm… That sounded interesting.. Then I tried to recollect some of the dialogues which I knew… Instantaneously, dialogues like – “ Mere paas banglaa hai, gaadi hai, bank balance hai… tumhaare paas kya hai..”  from Deewar …. “ Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi… naamumkin hai… “  from DON…… “I speak in English, talk in English, walk in English…”  from Namak Halal….. “Mausijee, to main shaadi pakki samjhu… “  from Sholay … “ My name is Anthony Gonzalves… “ from Amar Akbar Anthony  and many more such dialogues came to my mind…I myself was surprised to know that I remembered so many dialogues of Amitabh. How do I know these dialogues? How did these dialogues get imbibed in my mind? When did I see all these movies? Where did I see all these movies?? 

Fortunately, the answer to all these questions was present in one single word which I think everyone would love to hear…. The answer is Doordarshan.  Yes, the flagship channel which transformed and revolutionised the spectre of entertainment in India. It was easily the single biggest factor which changed our lives. Agreed that private channels which made their foray later too played a big part but the biggest of all was Doordarshan. 

I still vividly remember those Thursdays when I used to eagerly await for Chitrahaar. Those great Saturday evenings when a blockbuster was shown on TV. I would say I was priviliged enough to have a TV in my house since 1985. Although I was born in 1983, I started watching television from around 1988. I am still proud of the Solidaire Black & White TV which we owned. Oh.. what an atmosphere it was… !!!!!! Some of the neighbours would come to our house to watch the programmes. Honestly speaking, at that time I was filled with  a kind of malicious mirth seeing people come to our house for watching TV. 

Those were the days when I watched with rapt attention all the programmes. TV soaps like Humlog, Buniyaad, Karamchand, Nukkad  etc… would keep me completely engrossed. Not to forget the superb informative programmes like Surabhi, Turning Point, Bharat Ek Khoj, etc.. Who can forget the flashing smile of Renuka Shahane and Siddharth Kak in Surabhi… !!!!!  Only a ‘dumbo’ can forget about the mythological epics Ramayan, Mahabharat… It was mind-blowing.  Just like all other children, I too enjoyed watching Jungle Book, Duck Tales, Talespin… Not only these programmes but also the wonderful message-oriented videos were thoroughly enjoyable. Who can forget Pandit Bheemsen Joshi kicking it off with Mile Sur mera tumhaara…. Who can forget the animation on Ek anek… daana chugne baithi chidiyan… Even the news were wonderful then, strictly to the point without much ado on irrelevant things. The grace and flawless English and Hindi of those newsreaders was soothing to the eyes and ears. Newsreaders like Tejeshwar Singh, Minu, Salma Sultana, Usha Albuquerque, JV Raman, Gitanjali Aiyar were simply spectacular. Oh God !!!! I can sense goosebumps on my body just imagining those wonderful days. J 

But I guess, I have deviated from the main topic of this article i.e. Amitabh Bachchan movies… But who cares?.. I would like to keep this nostalgic feeling of the erstwhile Doordarshan going in my mind. I suppose all the readers of this blog too feel the same. 

I seriously think those days were the most wonderful. These days we have an embarassment of riches with hordes of channels with nothing worthwhile to showcase. Hmm…. Thinking about this, I dozed off leaving a certain Mr. Amitabh Bachchan fuming as I didn’t say much about his movies. I thought I will write about it some other day…. Let me enjoy this feeling of nostalgia --- Kahaan gaye woh din…..

Someone somewhere is made for everyone… But where????

It’s time again to vent out my feelings… Long time ago, when I was in 10th standard ‘Dil to Pagal Hai’, a Hindi movie, released…. Some of my classmates watched the movie and said that there was a special appearance by the great Akshay Kumar in the movie….. Die-hard Akshay fan that I am, I instantly decided to go to the movie over the weekend….. There I was in the good-old Maheshwari theatre , watching a movie wherein the main hero was my dushman (enemy in Hindi), just because my demi-god Akshay had a special appearance in that movie…. No prizes for guessing who my dushman is in Hindi film industry…. I was waiting with bated breath for my hero’s entry… The movie kept on dragging… only saving grace being some good music… Then suddenly Akki made a grand entry in the movie… had a whirlwind of a hit song. In fact, he was part of the title song of this movie, which happened to be one of the biggest hit songs of the year… I was satisfied and felt contented. After that, movie just kept on dragging… I was getting bored of watching the stupid histrionics of my dushman… Just as I was about to sink into a state of oblivion, I heard a great dialogue from Madhuri Dixit. I don’t remember the exact dialogue but still remember the gist of it. It went something like this –‘Sab ke liye kahin na kahin, koi na koi banaaya gaya hai. Bas uske milne ki deri hai. Jab waqt aayega tab hume wo (bhagwaan) bataayega.’ . This means that – ‘There is someone made for everyone somewhere. It’s only a matter of meeting that person. When time comes, God will help us recognize him/her.’. I was damn impressed with this dialogue and kept on appreciating it till the end of the movie. This dialogue left an indelible impression on a 14-year-old boy’s mind.

Four years later…..

Some engineering students were ragging a set of juniors in the bylanes of Nampally… But there was one guy who was not his usual self. He kept on looking at a hapless junior… Others were asking the girl her bio-data, some asking her to sing… the usual stuff that goes on during ragging… But this guy was thinking about something…He had still not forgotten about the dialogue he heard in Maheshwari theatre four years ago… After all, that was an indelible impression… how could it be removed so easily… I guess there have been enough pointers to identify who the guy was… Now this guy was thinking if the girl in front of him was the one Madhuri Dixit was talking about… Influenced by those dialogues, he kept on thinking that she was the one… A week later, he saw another girl who too seemed to be the one Madhuri Dixit was suggesting… He was mighty confused now… Who should he choose ??? … But God is really great… He solved his problem by bringing him face-to-face with a third girl…. Instantaneously, he forgot about the other two girls and thought that this time he has found the right girl !!!!!!

Seven years later…..

A matured and well-groomed engineer.. yeah that’s me…(I know this is a very controversial statement… Me matured… Me well-groomed… There would be critics to this statement… But for the time-being let us assume that I am a matured and well-groomed engineer….) Gone are the days of the fun in college… It is professional out here.. But the indelible impression is still with me… Yes.. Madhuri Dixit’s dialogue is still firmly etched in my mind…. I still keep thinking about this…. Whenever songs like ‘Zara si dil mein de jagah tu… ‘ or ‘Baakhuda tumhi ho, har jagah tumhi ho…’ cross my way, I keep thinking of that dialogue. But where the hell is she? Have been searching ever since I heard that dialogue… It’s exasperating to say the least… Eleven years of search has not got me anything… There have been lots of mirages in the desert but no water… Some girls seem to be the one that I am looking for but the problem would be that they would already have a boy friend.. Thoughts crop up in my mind if all the good girls are already taken but then I console myself by saying that new set would soon arrive… This rudderless search is going nowhere… I have now decided to put a lid on this… Enough is enough… Let her search for me… I will keep a low-profile… Let’s see if she can find me…

Although I have stopped searching for my Khwaabon ki shehzaadi, there is someone else that I am searching for… I am searching for Madhuri Dixit to give her a sound thrashing because she is the one who engraved this stupid thought in my mind…..

My Love Affair

It all started on a pleasant and balmy Saturday morning. I started from my house not knowing that this was the day that my life was going to change; that this was the day when my life would become rosy; that this was the day my perspective towards life would change. I lumbered along to my friend Yashwanth’s house.

He was sitting in his living room with someone. I thought I shouldn’t disturb him and was about to retreat but he saw me and called me in. I went inside with a bit of apprehension. I wasn’t comfortable going inside as I was not acquainted to the ‘other entity’ in the room. (Basically, during my engineering days I was shy of anything feminine. My engineering friends would agree about it but not sure if my Infosys friends would. … :-) ) Nevertheless, I sat on the couch but was shy of looking at the ‘other entity’ in the room. Somehow, I asked Yash as to what he was doing. This was when I came face-to-face with the ‘other entity’ in the room. I was besotted by her beauty. She was so beautiful. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Her ethereal beauty charmed me. Then, my friend introduced her to me. At first, I was shy to talk to her but somehow gathered all my courage and spoke to her. She was so friendly. She was the best. I was enamoured. That for me, was LOVE at first sight.

After our first meeting, I couldn’t take her off my mind. I was always thinking about her. Always thinking about ways to impress her. I couldn’t sleep properly for the next few days as her thoughts filled my mind. I slept in the mornings day-dreaming about her. Then I made up my mind to pursue her with complete earnest. I devised ways of conquering her. I made plans so that she would accept me. I prepared myself to face her and propose. It took me 8 long months to make my preparation and finally, the D-day arrived.

I was decked in my finest dress, smeared my forehead with Tilak (Vermilion) for good luck and approached her. It took me 2 long hours to put forward my case. But there was no response. One moment it seemed like she will accept but the very next moment it seemed like everything was lost. Then finally she said that she needed some time to take a decision. I obliged and waited for her reply.

It was a long wait. I was expecting her to reply in a couple of days but things do not always work like we want. Every passing day was like a century. Then finally, after 1 and half months, she replied. Optimist that I am, I was expecting the best. But unfortunately, she rejected my offer. I was crest-fallen. All my efforts were wasted. I didn’t want to meet anyone. I didn’t want to talk to anyone.

Then one fine day, I was filled with an invisible power, HOPE. This power helped me overcome my sorrow. I felt rejuvenated with new-found energy. Then I made up my mind to pursue her at any cost. She was my life. I couldn’t leave my life just like that because she betrayed me once. I became focused once again. I waited for my time. Then it came again, I proposed her the second time. She rejected. Then I proposed her the third time. She rejected. Then the fourth. She rejected.

It’s been 7 years since my first encounter with her at Yashwanth’s place. But still my love for her is true. Although she has rejected me so many times, I still love her with the same intensity as I did 7 years ago. And don’t be surprised to know that, I am planning to propose her again. Who knows I might be lucky this time. I haven’t lost hope as yet. I am sure that one day or the other she will be mine. It’s only a matter of time. I will conquer that ‘Other Entity’ – Common Admission Test, CAT as we know commonly sooner rather than later.

HOPE - Hath Optimism, Perseverance and Endurance

Recently, one of my friends asked me if I was still blogging and the reason why I hadn’t written anything for so many days. Then it dawned upon me that I hadn’t written anything worthwhile for quite some time. I thought - What could be the topic that would drive me into writing something. But my alter ego said – “Hey Manish, Don’t waste your time. You have to prepare for CAT… This is the fourth time that you are attempting CAT and you need to crack it… “. Then I thought - Why am I writing CAT for the fourth time…. That’s because I have hope that I can crack it this time….(Doesn’t mean that I didn’t have hope last time round… ) and voila… here I get my new topic ---- HOPE.

‘Hath Optimism, Perseverance and Endurance’.. This is how I describe someone with Hope. As they say it in Hindi – “Ummeed pe hi duniya kaayam hai !!!”… This aptly summarizes this article. Well, if you aren’t interested in this topic then you can skip this article now. But I HOPE that you will read it in its entirety. :-)

There was a time when I was in school; I used to hope for some politician’s death so that I could get a holiday to school. And there was a time when I used to hope that my teacher would be ill so that I could get a free period. Not to forget the time when I used to hope that the best girl in my class talk only to me… :-)

I still remember vividly some of the late 90’s cricket matches featuring India. With Venkatesh Prasad and Abey Kuruvilla at the batting crease with close to 50-60 runs to win, I still used to hope that India would win the match. I, for one, am an eternal optimist. Always hoping that things will always favor me. But there are times when your desires won’t materialize. There are times when you are besieged by all sides and feel utterly disconsolate. But even in those times, hope will keep us going.

Hope is like an elixir. It will fill you with some kind of invisible power which will embed a belief in yourself, in your capabilities. Just like the innumerable Bollywood flicks, hope will fill you with immense strength. Hope for success will shield you from all the subversive powers. Who can forget the omnipresent cliché Hindi dialogue of yore – “Bhagwaan ke ghar mein der hai par andher nahi !!!” . How many times have we seen a battered, bruised, blind and bland Nirupa Roy uttering this dialogue just after our hero gets his first job or when the hero and his brother re-unite after being separated in a Kumbh ka Mela for eons. What do you think helped a decrepit Nirupa Roy survive in those films? You guessed it right, It is Hope.

Hope for something better is what is driving me to come to office everyday… :-) I guess it is the same case with everyone…. :-) If this is true, then why is it that some people remain sullen always?? Why is it that some people feel disconsolate as though everything is lost?? Just like Argus Filch from Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry… Always unhappy about things… Unhappy because others are better… Unhappy because the hope to succeed is lost…. Try to think optimistically and you will see a different world and of course, things will go your way as well… Just like it happened once when Venkatesh Prasad hit a six off the bowling of Waqar Younis… :-)

One day or the other, things are bound to be on your side. Amen!!!!!

Where is my PRESENT??????????

I am back again after a long self-imposed hiatus.... Well, frankly speaking I couldn't think much to write home about for the past few days.... But after biding my time for some thought-provoking topics, I could finally think of something.... Oh..yeah... I am here again to spread some "Gyan"... :-)

When I was in 4th standard, I remember my teacher saying something like this - "If you struggle hard and study now, your future will be very bright." Although I am not hardworking by any stretch of imagination, I always managed to top the school. You can call it as God's grace or may be sheer luck.... But I was always on top... But mind you, there was definitely a bit of smart effort, if not hard work... :-) I passed my 10th exams... came on top as usual... and was feeling like a PRINCE... But this was short-lived.

This is because it was now time to join college. I took up M.P.C. in my intermediate and again my lecturer said the following words: " If you struggle hard for 2 years, your future will be bright... ". Again, I took it upon myself to prove my worth and as always did exceptionally well in the Engineering entrance examination. Now, I felt like a KING.... But even this was short-lived...

Then started my engineering life... joined a decent-enough college..... Again the same old dialogue from lecturers - "If you struggle hard for 4 years, your future will be bright" . Again the same old struggle for 4 years landed me a plum job at Infosys, one of the best I.T. companies in the WORLD. This time round I felt like I was a MONARCH.... As always, this too was short-lived....

My innings as a Software Engineer started.... In the initial heydays, I was completely oblivious to the life ahead... I was feeling independent.... Like they say in Hindi movies - "Apne pairon par khada hogaya... "... (Like I was never standing on my feet before... ;-) ) .... There was the initial euphoria during my training period with 'all and sundry' asking me to work hard so that my future can be bright.... My patience started wearing out....

But I held on... joined my first project.... then came my first appraisal.... my manager was reasonably satisfied with my work and topped it off with something cliched.... Yes, you guessed it right... He too went ga ga over working hard so that my future can be bright..... I felt like screaming but then held on.... Years passed by.... After 3 and a half years of experience in the software industry, I got promoted as a Programmer Analyst..... Now I was feeling like a DICTATOR..... But as you might have guessed it, the killer blow was yet to come.... My first appraisal comments in the new role were the same as I heard in my Kindergarten.... "Work hard now so that your future can be bright... "

This time I snapped... What the hell !!!!.... I looked back at my life.... It's been 24 years of relentless struggle, hard work so that my FUTURE can be bright.... But where in the hell is my PRESENT.... Oh my God !!!... I was so entrenched in securing a bright future that I forgot to enjoy my Present.... :-( This made me delve my past.... "When was the last time that I enjoyed the first rain of the season?"... "When was the last time that I tried to hone my hobbies?"... "When was the last time I worked on something whole-heartedly?" ... "When was the last time I enjoyed the beauty of nature?"... Many more such pertinent questions came to my mind....

The entire string of events reminded me of a saying which I heard somewhere -
"Past is like an Out-dated cheque.... Future is like a Promissory Note..... Present is the Cash that you have.... Spend it wisely."
It seemed like a bolt from the blue.. But really, this saying was so simple yet so complicated to achieve... I decided to strive to change my mindset... Strive to enjoy my present more.... Do things Dil Se.... Ultimately, we need to "Work to live, not live to work". Period.

Lokhandwala mein Cheeni KUM !!!!!!!!!!!

“Hello”
“Manish… Kya karra??”
“Kuch bhi nahi re… aise hi TV dekh raha tha…”
“Arey… SHOOTOUT AT LOKHANDWALA dekhne chalenge kya??”
“Haan re chal jaayenge… bahut achha movie hai bolke suna main… Chal phir.. Will meet you in the theatre at 5…..”

This was a conversation between my friend and me a few days back. Everything was planned for a perfect Saturday evening. But what followed after this conversation was something unplanned.

I started getting ready to go to the movie. I went to the bathroom to wash my face. Suddenly, something hit me out of the blue. Why am I going to this movie? Is it really worth it to go to this movie? Why do people make such movies? Why do movies like this become box-office hits? Why do people like such movies? There was a plethora of questions that bombarded my pensive mind. It was moribund a moment ago and now it was springing in questions and thoughts which defied the usual.

As I wiped my face with the towel, I thought – We have had innumerable films made on gangsters, underworld dons et al. Particularly for the past 3-4 years, after every quarter we see a movie on a gangster made. People making that movie say that it is inspired by the life of so-and-so don. This is something which doesn’t seem to be a grave problem at first-thought. But this might have serious repercussions as we move ahead. This reminds me of some of the hit movies in not-so-distant past… Company, Gangster, Vaastav, Shoot Out At Lokhandwala.. to name a few. These kind of movies tend to give undue publicity to these people. Added to this is the media frenzy even on a small news from the underworld. I just can’t understand why there is such a race to convert these anti-socials into demi-gods. But the point of my topic here is not the media but the movie industry in particular. Young school going children would not know about someone like an Ambani but would definitely know about an underworld don.

Combing my hair, I thought – Movie industry as such does not try to make movies based on some true heroes. If recent history is anything to go by then I can remember only Guru and “the Bhagat Singh movies” which are based on the real life of visionary leaders. It doesn’t surprise me to see that it took a great thinking director like Mani Ratnam to make a film on the business legend Dhirubhai Ambani. There are lots of things which we can learn from the life of an Ambani, a Tata, a Birla or a Murthy. But then no one cares to make a movie on their ideals as it would not be commercially viable. People wont be interested to go to such movies.

Although I pulled up my socks and laced my shoes, I was still thinking about this. Is there something fundamentally wrong in the way we Indians perceive things. Or is there something wrong with how I think. It doesn’t make sense about how much crime the gangsters have done. It doesn’t make sense to know as to how they kidnap someone or kill someone. It really amazes me as to why people like such movies. But then , I too am part of this public. I need to practice what I preach. Thinking this I started towards the theatre…..

At the theatre, my friend had not yet arrived. So, I went to the ticket counter and bought two tickets for the film but the only difference being that the film was “CHEENI KUM” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!